Tuesday, August 24, 2010

KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and A&W treat you to free "exercise".

Aren't they sweet.

It's part of their, "Keep it Balanced" campaign which is meant to perpetuate the myth that exercise can out-train a bad diet.

Here's what Yum! brands wants you to know about how easy it is to maintain a healthy weight and still enjoy your KFC,

"Keep It Balanced means making informed choices and combining a sensible, balanced diet with appropriate exercise in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. The food and beverages you consume put energy into your body and physical activity helps burn these calories. It's a simple formula: Energy In = Energy Out."
Yeah dummy, it's simple.

For instance, let's say you decide to have a 3 piece KFC dinner along with a medium fries and a Pepsi. That'd be 1,670 calories in.

Want 1,670 calories out?

Well perhaps that's unfair, you need some calories to live, let's say of that 1,670 calorie meal, 1,000 of 'em are more than you need and you'd like to simply burn through physical activity.

Here's a menu of options that'll do that for you:

- 1 hour of running at 6.7 miles and hour
- 2 hours of low impact aerobics
- 3.5 hours of weight lifting
- 7 hours of sex

And to help they're offering a free 1 month fitness membership. Not in an actual gym mind you, on an online fitness tracking website called eFitForMe.

Nothing screams fitness like a website membership.

Keep it balanced people!

Oh, and don't forget - also buy low and sell high in the stock market. That way not only are you going to be super skinny, you'll be super rich!

Easy, peasy.

Bookmark and Share


  1. Anonymous10:35 am

    Anyone can get a free one month membership to this website. I just tried out the nutrition section. The meals they suggest are often not appetizing (tofu-cheese medallions, brown rice buckwheat rice cake, and raw celery?). It is not especially user-friendly, the meals are repetitive, and the snacks are often too labor intensive

  2. 7 hours of sex? You'd have to be fit already to do that.

  3. Anonymous5:18 am

    McDonald's had stop watches and pedometers as Happy Meal treats a couple of years back. That at least I would have traded a couple bucks and a few of my allotted junky calories for.