KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and A&W treat you to free "exercise".

Aren't they sweet.

It's part of their, "Keep it Balanced" campaign which is meant to perpetuate the myth that exercise can out-train a bad diet.

Here's what Yum! brands wants you to know about how easy it is to maintain a healthy weight and still enjoy your KFC,

"Keep It Balanced means making informed choices and combining a sensible, balanced diet with appropriate exercise in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. The food and beverages you consume put energy into your body and physical activity helps burn these calories. It's a simple formula: Energy In = Energy Out."

Yeah dummy, it's simple.

For instance, let's say you decide to have a 3 piece KFC dinner along with a medium fries and a Pepsi. That'd be 1,670 calories in.

Want 1,670 calories out?

Well perhaps that's unfair, you need some calories to live, let's say of that 1,670 calorie meal, 1,000 of 'em are more than you need and you'd like to simply burn through physical activity.

Here's a menu of options that'll do that for you:

- 1 hour of running at 6.7 miles and hour
- 2 hours of low impact aerobics
- 3.5 hours of weight lifting
- 7 hours of sex

And to help they're offering a free 1 month fitness membership. Not in an actual gym mind you, on an online fitness tracking website called eFitForMe.

Nothing screams fitness like a website membership.

Keep it balanced people!

Oh, and don't forget - also buy low and sell high in the stock market. That way not only are you going to be super skinny, you'll be super rich!

Easy, peasy.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure doesn't understand breast cancer.

You'd think they would.

You see Susan G. Komen for the Cure is a charity set up in 1982 in memory of breast cancer victim Susan G. Komen. According to their website they've raised over $1.5 billion for the fight against breast cancer.

So why would I suggest they don't understand breast cancer? Simple. For this year's runs they've teamed up with KFC in their, "Buckets for the Cure" campaign. By teaming up with Susan G. Komen for the Cure, KFC is able to advertise their buckets of chicken as a tool in the fight against breast cancer - something that will likely drive sales of deep-fried chicken as well as help with their corporate image. A whole 50 cents from every pink bucket sold will go to Susan G. Komen for the Cure with a minimum KFC contribution of $1 million.

For KFC this is an incredible coup. Not only is this a feel-good cause but they're likely to make a fortune off of it. KFC hopes to donate $8.5 million to Susan G. Komen for the Cure and by my calculations that'll mean the sale of 17 million pink buckets of chicken.

17 million pink buckets containing 255 million pieces of deep-fried chicken, and I imagine that along with the 17 million pink buckets KFC will sell at least 34 million medium orders of fries, 17 million orders of gravy and 17 million orders of a KFC "salad".

So in effect Susan G. Komen for the Cure is helping to sell deep fried fast food and in so doing, helping to fuel unhealthy diets and obesity across America, an odd plan given that diet and obesity certainly impact on both the incidence and recurrence of breast cancer.

According to the helpful summary found at the National Cancer Institute, obesity increases the relative risk of developing post menopausal breast cancer by 50%. They also report that maintaining a body mass index of 25 could prevent 11,000 to 18,000 deaths per year from breast cancer in U.S. women over age 50, that breast cancer is more likely to be detected at a later stage in obese women than in lean women, and that weight gain during adulthood has been found to be the most consistent and strongest predictor of breast cancer risk in studies in which it has been examined.

It would be one thing if KFC simply handed over a cheque to Susan G. Komen for the Cure in the amount of $8.5 million - that'd be incredibly generous and welcome. However it's quite another thing for Susan G. Komen for the Cure to sell their name to KFC and allow them to use it to encourage the consumption of high calorie, high sodium fast food and the promotion of a lifestyle that increases the risk of not only breast cancer, but a myriad of diet and weight related illnesses. That's just reprehensible.

Shame on you Susan G. Komen for the Cure, surely you know better and yet you've chosen greed over responsibility.

Want to tell Susan G. Komen for the cure to stop "pinkwashing" KFC? You can send them a note with just a few simple clicks.

(Below is KFC's TV spot showing how they're using this partnership to sell goodwill and bad chicken - email subscribers will have to head to the blog to watch)


[Hat tip to my friend Julie from Dinner with Julie]

10 common fast food sandwiches way worse than KFC's Double Down.

I can't get over all the hoopla surrounding the Double Down.

It's definitely a Frankenfood, but more from the yuck factor perspective than the nutritional perspective - certainly it was the yuck that hooked me.

Personally I think KFC's Double Down is more of a marketing home run than something KFC actually expects to sell a lot of. I wouldn't be surprised at all if in a few years it's gone from the menu due to lack of sales and I also wouldn't be surprised if its appearance doesn't spur an increase in this quarter's KFC profits simply by getting curious feet marching through its doors.

Nutritionally it sure is salty at 1,380mg of sodium, but calorically it's a bit of a fast food yawn at 540 calories.

That said, think of the incredible amount of coverage it's received. According to Google there's been over 3,000 news stories on KFC's Double Down in the past month. The blogosphere has 460,000 hits (including mine). But nutritionally is it really worth all the attention? When it comes down to it, nutritionally it's pretty much a Big Mac which also clocks in at 540 calories and a smidge less sodium at 1,020mg.

Interestingly in the coverage reporters and bloggers seem aghast that KFC's selling the Double Down. Really, is it KFC's job to look after our health? If you want to fault someone for KFC selling the Double Down (or for fast food in general) I'd point the finger at us. Why us? KFC and everyone else is just selling what the people want and buy. If we want healthier fare then we need to make it clear that we won't buy the garbage anymore. Industry, unlike government, reacts quickly to consumer demand. If we demanded health, we'd get it. The problem is, we don't demand it.

Want some perspective? Here are ten common fast food items, all of which top the Double Down in nutritional deviance and some of which put the Double Down to shame when it comes to unhealthy eating. This was by no means a difficult search either, took literally 10 minutes, and had I bothered to explore items other than sandwiches I'd have found offerings that would have put these numbers to shame:

10. Dunkin' Donuts Tuna (Albacore) Sandwich
660 calories, 1,280mg sodium

9. Au Bon Pain Southwest Tuna Wrap
760 calories, 1,570mg sodium

8. A&W Double Mozza Burger
780 calories, 1,230mg sodium

7. Arby's Roast Turkey Ranch and Bacon Sandwich
830 calories, 2,270mg sodium

6. Burger King Steakhouse XT with Cheese Burger
1,000 calories, 2,090mg sodium

5. Dairy Queen 1/2lb Flamethrower Burger
1,010 calories, 1,540mg sodium

4. Boston Pizza Boston Cheesesteak Sandwich
1,140 calories, 3,900mg sodium

3. Ruby Tuesday's Avocado Turkey Burger
1,234 calories, 2,961mg sodium

2. Applebees Quesadilla Burger
1,420 calories, 3,740mg sodium

1. Quizno's Prime Rib Cheesesteak Sub (that's it in the photo above)
1,770 calories, 2,895mg sodium

Frankenfood showdown: KFC's Double Down vs. McDonald's Mc10:35

And people claim it's because we're less active.

In the fried corner we've got KFC's "Double Down". Until now available only in select markets but the business folks over at KFC have determined that there's a national appetite for this breadless beast. Two deep fried chicken fillets serve as the bun for two pieces of bacon and two slices of processed cheese. 540 calories and 1,380mg of sodium.

In the someone-must-have-been-high-to-try-this corner is McDonald's Mc10:35


You've never seen the Mc10:35? Doesn't mean you can't have one as necessity is the mother of invention, and necessity here is apparently the need to eat something repulsive at 10:35am.

The Mc10:35 is a "secret" menu item that's making some social networking waves. It's called the Mc10:35 because it's only available at or around 10:35am. You see 10:30am is when breakfast changes to lunch at McDonald's. To order the Mc10:35 you'll have to order one of the day's last McMuffins and simultaneously order a McDouble. When your order arrives reassemble by taking the egg and bacon from the McMuffin and added them to the McDouble. Voila a Mc10:35. Estimated calories 560, estimated sodium 1,300mg.

Nutritionally? Pretty much a wash. Yuck factor? Flip a coin.

The winner?

The Double Down. Because it's actually a real menu item whereas the Mc10:35 for now is something hungover college students will have to build for themselves.

[Hat tip to many of my readers who wrote in about the Double Down and to the Consumerist for alerting me to the existence of the Mc10:35]

Will your city sell out to KFC?

You've got to hand it to KFC, they know how to market.

Their latest ploy?

Get cities to sell out and advertise for them.

What am I talking about?

Well KFC's been creating combination public works and public awareness campaigns. They pay cities nominal amounts of money and then they get to slap their ads on city property.

The latest (photograph above) city/towns to sell out were Indiana and Brazil, Kentucky who for the low, low price of $7,500 have allowed KFC to festoon their fire hydrants with advertisements for KFC's Fiery Grilled Wings.

This campaign builds on KFC's prior campaign where they filled potholes and then slapped the repairs with a KFC logo.


According to the Kentucky Department of Health 67% of Kentucky adults are obese or overweight (with obesity rates doubling since 1995) making Kentucky the 7th fattest State in the US.

Sure seems like a great plan Kentucky. What could go wrong?

I Say Something Nice about KFC!

Perhaps in his old age the Colonel's getting soft, or maybe he's just seeing the writing on the wall?

Yesterday YUM Brands, KFC's parent company, announced that their restaurants (which also include Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, Long John Silver's and A&W) will be voluntarily placing calorie counts on menus at ALL American locations!

This announcement came a day after the State of California passed legislation requiring all chain restaurants (more than 20 locations statewide) to do the same.

Great job Colonel, and frankly smart as given that eventually it's going to be a federal law so why not score some good press by doing it now voluntarily?

Hey Colonel, why not Canadian locations?

[Hat tip to BMI's Lorne]

KFC - Where 43% of Your Chicken's not Chicken!

My friend Julie Van Rosendaal who writes the blogs It Must Have Been Something I Ate and Dinner with Julie sent me something truly wild.

It's a PDF from KFC that details the ingredients of their menu items.

The ingredients themselves are a veritable witch's brew of preservatives and items meant to improve things like the mouthfeel of food with such things as sodium stearoyl lactylate, calcium peroxide, xanthan gum, sodium benzoate, carrageenan and many more.

The best part though is the "chicken".

Why is the word chicken in quotations?

How 'bout if I told you that 43% of the ingredient known as chicken in KFC's chicken strip wasn't chicken?

What is it?

I'll let the Colonel explain,

"Chicken Breast Strips Containing up to 43% of a Solution of: Water, Seasoning (Soy Protein Concentrate, Salt, Rice Starch, Carrageenan, Dextrose, Onion Powder, Dehydrated Chicken Broth, Maltodextrin, Spice Extractives), Sodium Phosphate. Breaded with: Wheat Flour, Salt, Spices, Monosodium Glutamate, Leavening (Sodium Bicarbonate), Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Garlic Powder, Citric Acid, Enriched Wheat Flour (Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Natural Flavor, Maltodextrin, Sugar, Corn Syrup Solids, Wit Not More Than 2% Calcium Silicate Added as an Anti Caking Agent."

Mmmmmmmmmmm, 43% not-chicken slurry.

Thanks Julie, and thanks KFC - you're always a pleasure to blog about!

Kentucky Fried Chicken's Flying Pig

I swear a pig just flew by my window.

According to the Wall Street Journal KFC is considering a, "nonfried chicken platform".

One can only hope that doesn't mean a literal platform made entirely of non-fried chickens because that would certainly not help their recent run-ins with PETA and would be rather vile to boot.

You know what else they have that may be definable as vile to boot? Their famous bowls which are the subject of today's Funny Friday video featuring comedian Patton Oswald.

(Please be forewarned - not safe for work or young ears - Patton, like many comics, really likes using the f-word)

Email subscribers, to see the video you usually need to actually visit the website.

Have a great weekend!

KFC - your secret parenting weapon

Talk about a quobesity goldmine!

I just have to take a moment to thank KFC. They are a health blogger's dream come true.

They've recently launched their, "Bring Back Dinner" campaign, replete with a website chock full of abject stupidity.

The basic premise of their campaign is that dinner is just too darn hard to make - thank goodness for KFC.

There's an article that details how difficult it is to shop at the grocery store entitled, "Grocery shlepping - Or how a $120 trip to the grocery store provided lots of diversions but nothing for dinner".

There's the great landing page with deeply insightful quotes from their cartoon moms (they change with each landing), "If only my car had a stove", "I think dinner requires silverware", "I love the smell of takeout in the evening", and my personal favourite, "Who's got time to pre-heat?".

There's the "Chew on this" section that discusses the fact that dinner is a modern phenomenon.

There's the "Dinner Tidbits" section that quotes The National Council on Addiction and Substance Abuse detailing the fact that the more family meals a child eats, the less drugs, alcohol and cigarettes that he or she uses.

But my favourite two sections are the last two.

The first is the "Food for Thought" section. There KFC helpfully tries to give some suggestions about what your family should talk about over dinner. Here's a wonderful, heartwarming quobesity,

"Each night at dinner have someone read one of the "Talk" topics aloud. Then go around the table, one at a time, letting kids answer first (that way Mom and Dad's answers won't distract). Set up a few rules, like no interrupting each other and no critiques"

Here's the best part,

"Then grab a plate of KFC chicken, mashed potatoes and coleslaw and enjoy a heaping of conversation"

But the most quobesigenic part of the site comes from their "Good Grade Challenge".

"We want your kids to desire straight As like they wish for a bucket of KFC. And research shows that children who have dinner with their families five or more times a week are more likely to have higher grades in school. We're so confident that good things will happen if you come together at the dinner table we created the KFC Good Grade Challenge. Just add another KFC family dinner to your weekly calendar, one night a week for ten weeks, and we believe you'll see your child's grades improve."

Uh huh.

Lastly of course, there's the "Mom, I'm Hungry" shopping list generator which allows you to type in how many people are eating and what you want from KFC and it'll recommend portions. I typed in 4 people and chose biscuits and mashed potatoes along with chicken of course.

When I crunched the numbers that came out of the "shopping list" foods, my family members and I were each having close to 1,000 incredibly nutritious, grade inflating, family harmony generating, drug use banishing, odious shopping trip defeating, pre-heating goes to hell in a KFC basket, Calories.

Thank you KFC, thank you for making my family whole again.

Colonel Sanders - Your Personal Health Guardian

As you can plainly see from this ad, the Colonel espouses a healthy living attitude as I'm sure that the football on the ad means that I should be playing rather than watching football.

What's that? You think it's about eating a bucket of fried chicken while watching football?

Couldn't be. You know how I know? Yesterday while researching KFCs plans to scare away invading aliens I stumbled across their nutrition resources in a page Con-Agra calls, "Keep it Balanced" and it was on that page that I finally learned how to manage my weight and enjoy fried foods along with a few wonderful quobesities!

You see, according to the nutritional wizards working for Supreme Overlord Sanders (if you're confused, scroll down to yesterday's post),

"Many quick picks like tacos and pizza are full of important nutrients [Hey, Health Canada LOVES nutrients!] providing three or four food groups all in one."

So you see, they're SMART picks! So when I eat a pizza, I'm getting TONS of nutrients and basically a salad because I have tomato sauce with onions, hot peppers and pineapples!

But Supreme Overlord Sanders, even you must admit it seems like the World is getting heavier quite quickly. Did you see the report that said that there were now more overweight Africans than underweight Africans [a huge blow to the clean-your-plate club motivational speaking wing]? Well, those nutritional wizards know what to do,

"No single food causes weight gain [that's right, if you just eat one piece of food a day, you'll never gain weight]. It's about the total calories. So make your calories count by eating foods rich in nutrition [like Tacos and Pizza], and kick up the exercise a few notches when you eat more than you need."

Clearly those Africans must not exercise enough!

What I'll probably do for dinner - I think I'll have a KFC crispy twister sandwich (670 calories), along with KFC potato wedges (240 calories), a slice of KFC pecan pie (480 calories) and a large Pepsi (280 calories) and then when I get home, I'll just tell my wife and 27 month old daughter that I love them but the Colonel says I have to kick up my exercises a few notches and then I'll go for the 3 hours of running that I would need to take to burn off the over 1600 calories I ate for dinner at KFC. You know, I guess that's unfair, I do after all need some calories for dinner, so I guess I'll go for a short 2 hour run and keep some of those chalk full of nutrients calories just for me.

Gee, those folks over at Con-Agra foods sure are smart! I hope that Health Canada consulted them when creating their new Food Guide.

Great news! On the Food Guide's revision 12-member Advisory Board sits Ms. Carolyn O'Brien, the Director of Scientific & Regulatory Affairs at the Food and Consumer Products Manufacturers of Canada - a purely industry based organization whose members include KFCs Con-Agra!

Hurray! Way to go Health Canada! No one knows nutrition better than the Colonel, and no one cares more about the health and welfare of Canadians than the food industry. Right?

(Looking for the Food Guide series? It can be found if you click here.)

A Giant Warning to Space Aliens!

As if enlightened extra-terrestrials needed another reason to avoid popping by!

The first corporate logo to be visible to the Hubble telescopes of other intelligent lifeforms - KFC.

I wonder if they'll think the Colonel is the supreme overlord of Earth?

All hail Supreme Overlord Sanders, champion of deep fryers, feeder of families and scourge of chickens!

(Looking for the Food Guide series? It can be found if you click here.)