Wednesday, September 23, 2009

What do you call the person who graduates last in their medical school class?

I'll get to the answer in a minute but first let me tell you about the most jaw-droppingly, mind-numbingly, stupid weight loss invention I've ever had the displeasure of coming across.

It's called the Chugay Tongue Patch and is named after its inventor, plastic surgeon Dr. Nikolas Chugay.

The premise is simple. Dr. Chugay sews a postage stamp sized "patch" onto your tongue. The patch,

"makes chewing of solid foods very difficult and painful, limiting the patient to a liquid diet."
Yes, Dr. Nikolas Chugay believes that the answer to weight loss lies in causing his patients to experience physical pain.

I wanted to learn a little bit more about Dr. Chugay because I was having a really hard time with the concept that an actual physician was misguided enough to believe that he could help his patients by creating a "yes pain, no gain" weight loss aid so I decided to head over to his RateMDs page. There I learned that of the 6 people who rated him he received an average score of 1/5 with comments like,
"I regret the day I ever heard about this so-called doctor forever."

"I have a broken looking, crooked nose that I need to fix by having a reconstructive surgery recommended by three other doctors that were amazed how badly Chugay has ruined my nose."

"He is a ****. He is the worst thing could happen to you."

"Do Not let him touch you even for free."

"I will not recommend him to my worst enemies."
Which brings me back to the joke, "What do you call the guy who graduates last in their class in medical school?"

Unfortunately you call him Doctor.

[Hat tip to my friend Julie Deardorff from the Chicago Tribune who first showed me the "miracle patch" and who got me at my snarkiest for her blog]