How Much Greek Yogurt is in Tim Horton's New Greek Yogurt Smoothie?

Sure it sounds healthy.

After all, it has the words "Greek yogurt", "fruit", and "smoothie" in its name.

But what's in the smoothie?

A crapload of sugar where its 14 teaspoons of sugar (in the large) account for 77% of its total calories.

So how much Greek yogurt is in this sugar delivery vehicle? Looking at the nutritional breakdown of generic Greek yogurt and the online nutritional information provided by Tim Horton's for this large "Greek yogurt" smoothie, my best guess is that the 18oz smoothie only contains between 2 and 2.5oz of Greek yogurt as that's how much Greek yogurt you'd need to add to reach the smoothie's reported lonely 7 grams of protein.

Putting this another way, for every teaspoon of Greek yogurt in a Tim Horton's Greek Yogurt smoothie there's also a teaspoon of sugar.

Or how about this way? In every giant 18oz Tim Horton's Greek Yogurt Smoothie my math puts only half a single serve portion of Greek yogurt in it (and less than 1/4 of a single serve portion in a small).

Yum?

Move Over Babies! Similac Now Pumping Formula for Moms!?

No this is not a piece from the Onion!

Thanks to the University of Western's assistant professor and childhood obesity researcher Dr. Shauna Burke I came across this Frankenfood. It's a formula product made by Similac but instead of being predatorily marketed to Moms to feed their children, it's being predatorily marketed to pregnant women and breastfeeding Moms to feed themselves! And judging from the advertising up above, it would seem part of the marketing pitch is to help make healthier, smarter, babies.

It's called "Similac Mom" and according to Abbott, makers of Similac Mom,

"Healthy babies start with healthy moms. That’s why now more than ever, it’s time to really take care of yourself. Part of feeling your best is making sure you get the extra nutrition you need so you have energy for you and your baby"

Energy eh? My experience has taught me "energy" is usually used as a healthful sounding euphemism for sugar.

So how much sugar, er I mean "energy", is in a bottle of Similac Mom?

7.75 teaspoons worth of it. And drinking just one premixed 235mL bottle packs the caloric punch of more than a half a litre of sugar enriched, vitamin and protein enhanced, Coca-Cola.

Gotta love the ingredients list too. You can click on it here if you'd like, but if you want it in simplified terms it's basically,

Water, sugar, emulsifiers, sugar, oil, proteins, oil, added vitamins and minerals

Product spokesperson, Dr. Sonja Wicklum, a fellow Ottawa physician who works with the Ottawa Hospital's Weight Management Clinic states (bolding Abbott's),

"Expectant and breast feeding moms need complete balanced nutrition. That is why I recommend Similac Mom along with a healthy diet rich in essential nutrients."

Really the only "balance" I can think of here is balancing the healthy diet rich in essential nutrients with this vitamin-fortified, sugar-water horror show.  Because in my books this product is pretty much the opposite of what I would expect a healthy diet rich in essential nutrients to include.

I reached out to product whistle-blower Dr. Burke as to what she felt was so horrifying about Similac Mom.   Here's her take,

"It is in a formula company’s best interest to have women become emotionally attached to their brand as early as possible—to do so during pregnancy makes complete sense from a business perspective. But, given the link between maternal weight status and child obesity risk and the countless benefits associated with exclusive breastfeeding for both mother and baby, this product—marketed as a “nutritional beverage” despite the fact that it contains more sugar than Coca-Cola - makes no sense from a health perspective."

But of course this isn't about health, now is it?

[I also reached out to Dr. Wicklum for comment. Unfortunately I did not hear back.]

A Single "Food Product" That Encapsulates the Entirety of the Problem.

"Fast Franks".

Fast?

Because cooking a hot dog and putting it in a bun is "slow"?

But this Frankenfood speaks volumes.

As a society we value convenience and speed over nearly everything else. Consequently there's a demand for products like "Fast Franks", or more commonly for health washed products that people feel give them the same benefits as from scratch but quickly and conveniently.

Is there anything in life that's valuable that requires little or no effort?

Cooking, and perhaps slightly more specifically, prioritizing and finding the time to cook healthful meals - at this point, there's no way around it.

[Hat tip to Twitter's @teacherace for sending me the photo]

Captain America runs on Dunkin'?

And here I thought Captain America was supposed to be a super hero.

Turns out he's a super shill.

What's he hocking?

Dunkin' Donut's "Captain America Cherry Coolata"

Grab a large like the Captain America in the advertisement, and you'll be grabbing 480 calories, and 30 teaspoons of sugar.

That's more calories than a McChicken Sandwich, and the sugar equivalent of 3 cans of Coca Cola!

If America wants to run on Dunkin', they'd better run a lot!

(email subscribers, if you want to watch the video, you'll have to hit the blog)

McD's "snack size" McFlurry is a Snickers Bar dissolved in a can of Coca Cola!

So apparently McDonald's is rolling out a new "snack sized" McFlurry.

Sounds low-cal-ish, right?

Ummm...

The new McFlurry's 15 teaspoons of added sugar helps pack its 430 calorie bottom line. That's 7 calories more than you'd get "snacking" on a Snickers Bar and then washing it down with a can of Coca Cola.

With "snacks" like that, who needs meals?

Starbuck's new "Petites": Not worth their calories!

One of the questions I recommend people ask themselves before they indulge is, "is it worth the calories?". It's a simple question, and then so's the follow up to a yes - "how much do I need to be happy?".

So I couldn't help but ask myself that when looking at the advertisement for Starbuck's new "Petites".

What are "Petites"?

Think donut holes on a stick.

Really high calorie, single-bite, donut holes.

A single bite that'll buy most women 10% of their total daily calories, and just a bit less than that for men.

The most amazing part for me?

The fact that they advertise their under 200 calorie status as something brag worthy.

10% of your total daily calories in one teeny, tiny, bite isn't brag worthy!

What else is just under 200 calories?

Well in the junk food realm you could choose:

- 1.3 cans of Coca Cola
- 4 Chicken McNuggets
- 1.75 cups of Froot Loops
- 3/4 of an actual whole donut
- Almost an entire Hershey Bar

Just goes to show you that people truly don't have a clue about calories, because if they did, a sign suggesting a cloyingly sweet, bite on a stick, was under 200 calories, wouldn't help with sales.

Starbucks' "Trenta" - the caloric equivalent of more than half a gallon of Coke!

Ok, I'm not a math maven, but here's what I figure.

Their new "Trenta" size is 7oz more than their Venti.

Based off the caloric information for a Venti, if you order a, "Trenta 2% iced peppermint white chocolate mocha with whip", you'll be hauling in 904 calories.

What else has 904 calories?

2.2L of Coca Cola.

[Anyone out there still think mandatory calorie menu labeling's a bad idea?]

(image via the National Post)

Frankenfood: Tillman's Toasty Pork Pop-Tarts!

Because who wouldn't want pork Pop-Tarts?

They also make poultry Pop-Tarts, bacon and egg Pop-Tarts and, "garden vegetable" Pop-Tarts.

And while Michael Pollan's great-grandmother likely wouldn't have recognized them as "food", I'm sure she'd have loved them just the same.

To brighten your morning, here's a creepy German Tillman's Toasty television commercial.

Interesting that the commercial explicitly asks you not to call "it" schnitzel, yet that's what's written on our North American box.

But really, don't call them schnitzel.

No, I mean it, don't.



[Hat tip to my wonderful coupon cutting wife]

Health Halos and Kellogg's new FiberPlus Antioxidants Cereals

Brian Wansink coined the term, "Health Halo" when he was studying consumer behaviours when faced with healthier sounding front of package statements and restaurants perceived as healthier.

Words like, "low fat", "low carb", while not formal health claims in terms of function, still have strong influence on consumer perception, ingestion and likely purchase.

I couldn't help but think of Dr. Wansink's work yesterday when I read an article in the Big Food e-tradezine Food Navigator. The article detailed Kellogg's new cereal brand that they claim, "makes no health claims".

One of my favourite blogs, Fooducate, covered this cereal a few days ago, but when I saw that, "makes no health claims" piece, I had to weigh in myself.

The cereals, will be part of Kellogg's new FiberPlus Antioxidants Cereals and their launch comes right on the heels of the Federal Trade Commission's slap for Kellogg's suggesting their cereals improved, "Immunity".

Want to take a guess at how many ingredients there are in their Kellogg's FiberPlus Antioxidants Berry Yogurt Crunch? I guarantee you'll be wrong.

82!

Here they are in all their splendor with the 12 different sugar sources highlighted for good measure.

WHOLE GRAIN WHEAT, SUGAR, RICE, CHICORY ROOT FIBER, MIXED BERRY FLAVORED CLUSTERS (ROLLED OATS, SUGAR, OAT FIBER, CORN BRAN, CORN SYRUP, WHEAT STARCH, HONEY, YELLOW CORN FLOUR, CORN CEREAL, CANOLA OIL, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, FRUCTOOLIGOSACCHARIDES, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, SOYBEAN OIL, SALT, CARAMEL COLOR, MALT EXTRACT, STRAWBERRY POWDER, CITRIC ACID, GLYCERIN, BHT [PRESERVATIVE], RED #40, BLUE #2, CELLULOSE GUM, GREEN #3, BLUE #1, RED #40 LAKE, BLUE #2 LAKE), MODIFIED WHEAT STARCH, SOLUBLE CORN FIBER, MALT FLAVORING, SALT, ROLLED OATS, FRACTIONATED PALM KERNEL OIL, INULIN, OAT FIBER, NONFAT DRY MILK, CORN BRAN, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, GLYCERIN, WHEAT STARCH, CORN SYRUP, HONEY, APPLE PUREE CONCENTRATE, YELLOW CORN FLOUR, STRAWBERRIES, BLUEBERRIES, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, KIWI JUICE CONCENTRATE, WHEY, MONOGLYCERIDES, SOY LECITHIN, CORN STARCH, NONFAT YOGURT POWDER (HEAT TREATED AFTER CULTURING), CANOLA OIL, INVERT SUGAR, STRAWBERRY JUICE CONCENTRATE, ASCORBIC ACID (VITAMIN C), CINNAMON, FRUCTOOLIGOSACCHARIDES, RED RASPBERRY JUICE CONCENTRATE, GUAR GUM, BLUEBERRY JUICE CONCENTRATE, NIACINAMIDE, MALT EXTRACT, CARAMEL COLOR, CITRIC ACID, VITAMIN D, ALPHA TOCOPHEROL ACETATE (VITAMIN E), BHT (PRESERVATIVE), PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B6), RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), BETA CAROTENE (SOURCE OF VITAMIN A), FOLIC ACID, VITAMIN B12.

So what does 82 ingredients including not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, but 6 different artificial colours (including one that now has to have a warning label slapped on it in the EU) buy you nutritionally?

170 calories per cup dry (not wonderful for a cereal)
200mg of sodium (meh)
10g of fibre (holy crap - no pun intended)
12g of sugar (3 teaspoons worth)
And a smattering of vitamins including some "antioxidants"

Kellogg's of course isn't stupid. They're simply expecting consumers who don't take the time to think about what they're eating and read food labels to be saying, "you had me at antioxidants" when they walk down the cereal aisle.

Sure, there's no formal health claim, but that doesn't change the fact that this Frankencereal is banking on the words "FiberPlus" and "Antioxidants" to serve a health halos whose job it is to dupe you into thinking that what's in the box is good for you, which it probably is.....if you're a shareholder.

Carl's Jr.'s bid to out-gross KFC's Double Down

First found by the folks over at Food Beast (that's their picture too - thanks Food Beast!) may I introduce to you the Foot Long Cheeseburger.

While there are no numbers on it yet, if we take a look at Carl's Jr.'s bacon cheeseburger's calories and multiply by 3 it may well run you in the neighbourhood of 2,460 calories and 5,070mg of sodium.

For those who like comparisons that'd be eating the caloric and sodium equivalent of roughly 5 KFC Double Downs.

Cost per calorie? Well we can't use the $4 cost because that doesn't include bacon but $7 apparently does so that'd be 3.5 calories per penny.

Head over to Food Beast to read their review and check out their pics.

Mmmm, chip flavoured edible paper frankenfood.

Slim chips!

Zero-calories because they're indigestible hardened pieces of flavoured, coloured paper!

Delicious!

[Via Consumerist]

Frankenfood: Meat vending machine edition

You know, much as I bad mouth meat and its deleterious effects on health, long time readers of my blog will also know I adore eating it.

That said, my first reaction when hearing about this meat vending machine was an unqualified, "Ew".

I can't really explain my reaction though - the machines are being installed in the storefronts of classy looking Spanish butcheries, not Walmarts, presumably they're refrigerated, and from the looks of them they sell a variety of different cuts and options.

Perhaps it's just my aversion to vending machines casting aspersions on the contents.

Enjoy your barbecues off work Americans and if you forgot to buy burgers before the stores closed perhaps there's a meat vending machine nearby you can access.

[Via Springwise with hat tip to Lorne]

The food-pocalypse is nigh.

Now I'm not a theologian, but I'm pretty sure this is an official sign of the apocalypse.

It's the Bob Evans automated gravy dispenser.

According to the advertisement, buy one gravy dispenser for the low, low price of $595 and receive 4 FREE cases of gravy!

So my question to the readers out there, and no it's not the obvious who in their right minds would want to eat this, my question is what's up with the vomity gravy? I mean that's the food stylist's shot. If that's the best it can look, can you imagine what actually comes out of one of those machines?

Best line ever?

"Gross profit from free gravy"

Gross profit indeed.

10 common fast food sandwiches way worse than KFC's Double Down.

I can't get over all the hoopla surrounding the Double Down.

It's definitely a Frankenfood, but more from the yuck factor perspective than the nutritional perspective - certainly it was the yuck that hooked me.

Personally I think KFC's Double Down is more of a marketing home run than something KFC actually expects to sell a lot of. I wouldn't be surprised at all if in a few years it's gone from the menu due to lack of sales and I also wouldn't be surprised if its appearance doesn't spur an increase in this quarter's KFC profits simply by getting curious feet marching through its doors.

Nutritionally it sure is salty at 1,380mg of sodium, but calorically it's a bit of a fast food yawn at 540 calories.

That said, think of the incredible amount of coverage it's received. According to Google there's been over 3,000 news stories on KFC's Double Down in the past month. The blogosphere has 460,000 hits (including mine). But nutritionally is it really worth all the attention? When it comes down to it, nutritionally it's pretty much a Big Mac which also clocks in at 540 calories and a smidge less sodium at 1,020mg.

Interestingly in the coverage reporters and bloggers seem aghast that KFC's selling the Double Down. Really, is it KFC's job to look after our health? If you want to fault someone for KFC selling the Double Down (or for fast food in general) I'd point the finger at us. Why us? KFC and everyone else is just selling what the people want and buy. If we want healthier fare then we need to make it clear that we won't buy the garbage anymore. Industry, unlike government, reacts quickly to consumer demand. If we demanded health, we'd get it. The problem is, we don't demand it.

Want some perspective? Here are ten common fast food items, all of which top the Double Down in nutritional deviance and some of which put the Double Down to shame when it comes to unhealthy eating. This was by no means a difficult search either, took literally 10 minutes, and had I bothered to explore items other than sandwiches I'd have found offerings that would have put these numbers to shame:

10. Dunkin' Donuts Tuna (Albacore) Sandwich
660 calories, 1,280mg sodium

9. Au Bon Pain Southwest Tuna Wrap
760 calories, 1,570mg sodium

8. A&W Double Mozza Burger
780 calories, 1,230mg sodium

7. Arby's Roast Turkey Ranch and Bacon Sandwich
830 calories, 2,270mg sodium

6. Burger King Steakhouse XT with Cheese Burger
1,000 calories, 2,090mg sodium

5. Dairy Queen 1/2lb Flamethrower Burger
1,010 calories, 1,540mg sodium

4. Boston Pizza Boston Cheesesteak Sandwich
1,140 calories, 3,900mg sodium

3. Ruby Tuesday's Avocado Turkey Burger
1,234 calories, 2,961mg sodium

2. Applebees Quesadilla Burger
1,420 calories, 3,740mg sodium

1. Quizno's Prime Rib Cheesesteak Sub (that's it in the photo above)
1,770 calories, 2,895mg sodium

Frankenfood - Lollipop edition

Yup, lollipop.

To be exact, a maple syrup, bacon, caffeinated energy lollipop that contains the equivalent amount of caffeine as you'd find in 2 cups of coffee!

I'll let the folks who're selling it describe it for you,

"we’ve made it the bacon-y equivalent of an energy drink, adding two cups worth of caffeine to the already time-tested wonder of organic, sustainably farmed bacon and delicious Vermont maple syrup."

Want one?

4 for $10 or 36 for $52.

(If it gets sold in Canada I bet our backwards Natural Health Product Directorate would award it a Natural Health Product license. Stay tuned for more on this in the coming week or two)

And for a followup from last week's Frankenfood post, in case you're wondering what an actual version of KFC's infamous Double Down looks like (as opposed to their advertising shots), here's one from Houston [via The Consumerist]

Frankenfood showdown: KFC's Double Down vs. McDonald's Mc10:35

And people claim it's because we're less active.

In the fried corner we've got KFC's "Double Down". Until now available only in select markets but the business folks over at KFC have determined that there's a national appetite for this breadless beast. Two deep fried chicken fillets serve as the bun for two pieces of bacon and two slices of processed cheese. 540 calories and 1,380mg of sodium.

In the someone-must-have-been-high-to-try-this corner is McDonald's Mc10:35


You've never seen the Mc10:35? Doesn't mean you can't have one as necessity is the mother of invention, and necessity here is apparently the need to eat something repulsive at 10:35am.

The Mc10:35 is a "secret" menu item that's making some social networking waves. It's called the Mc10:35 because it's only available at or around 10:35am. You see 10:30am is when breakfast changes to lunch at McDonald's. To order the Mc10:35 you'll have to order one of the day's last McMuffins and simultaneously order a McDouble. When your order arrives reassemble by taking the egg and bacon from the McMuffin and added them to the McDouble. Voila a Mc10:35. Estimated calories 560, estimated sodium 1,300mg.

Nutritionally? Pretty much a wash. Yuck factor? Flip a coin.

The winner?

The Double Down. Because it's actually a real menu item whereas the Mc10:35 for now is something hungover college students will have to build for themselves.

[Hat tip to many of my readers who wrote in about the Double Down and to the Consumerist for alerting me to the existence of the Mc10:35]

Heart and Stroke Foundation Health Checks candy!

Actually more like candy fortified with extra sugar.

"But Yoni, the advertisement for the Del Monte Fruit Twists says says there's "no sugar added"."

I beg to differ.

With the exception of natural flavour, colour and pectin the only ingredients are fruit concentrates. Wanna guess what the main ingredient of fruit concentrates are? Sugar. So much sugar that in each and every Health Check'ed serving of Fruit Twists there's 3 teaspoons of the stuff which account for nearly 70% of each serving's weight and 80% of each serving's calories. Buy hey, it's "natural" sugar, right?

According to the copy,

"Get your daily servings of fruit in a convenient and delicious way with new Fruit Twists"

Fruit?

Let's compare blueberries with Blueberry & Raspberry Del Monte Fruit Twists. Gram per gram the Health Check'ed Twists have 600% more calories and 666% more sugar (Hmmm). Put another way, if you wanted to consume the equivalent number of calories from berries as you'd get from a two Twist "serving" you'd need to eat 3/4 of a cup of blueberries (and that 3/4 of a cup still won't give you the sugar of the two tiny Twists).

But as with virtually everything Health Check'ed it gets worse.

Given that the Twists look exactly like Twizzlers, I decided to compare the two. Comparing Del Monte Fruit Twists - endorsed by the Heart and Stroke Foundation's stellar dietitians - with Twizzlers, gram per gram we see identical calories and get this, 40% more sugar in the Health Check'ed Twists.

So once again here we have the dietitians from the Heart and Stroke Foundation discouraging the consumption of actual fibrous, nutritious, satiating fruits and berries by promoting and endorsing a heavily processed product that's basically just a sugar-sweetened Twizzler.

They sure seem like a smart bunch.

As far as I'm concerned, the misinformation the Heart and Stroke Foundation is providing Canadians should be downright criminal but sadly there's no law that prevents them from abusing the public's trust.

Frankenfood: Edible Play-doh (because kids don't eat enough already!)

Guess what!

You no longer have to tell your kids not to eat the Play-doh because now there's Yummy Dough!

Yes, Yummy Dough.

First you play with it, then you bake it, then you eat it!

Sure sounds "yummy". Grab "dough" with multiple grimy unwashed hands. Rub it and mold it into shapes on unwashed tables and floors (stray hairs equal free protein). Then eat!

[Of course homemade Play-doh has always been edible. Water, flour, cream of tartar, salt and food colouring. Guess if I had just been smart enough to add sugar, I'd be rich.]

Frankenfood: Domino's Bread Bowl Pasta

My wonderful wife noticed this in a recent flyer and peeked online.

You ready for this?

3-cheese mac and cheese bread bowl? 730 calories, 14g saturated fat, 1g trans fat and 1,420mg sodium.

Yup, that's bad, but not that bad. Is this really a Frankenfood?

Those numbers?

They're for "1 serving". According to Domino's nutritional information chart each serving of bread bowl pasta is half a bowl.

Funny, looking at the advertisement I scanned in above it doesn't mention anywhere it's meant to serve 2.

What that means of course is that one of these monstrosities packs 1,460 calories, 28g of saturated fat, 2g trans fat and 2,840mg sodium (comparable to 3 Big Macs), and unlike some of the other Frankenfoods I've had on here it doesn't look or sound even remotely worth its calories.

Frankenfood: Windows 7 Edition

I think it speaks for itself.

To enjoy it, you'll have to head to Japan (Vincci, up for another food challenge?).

(I figured it was worthy of contributing to a dual post day)

[Hat tip to faithful blog reader Jesse!]