Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Stupidest Water Ever?

I dare you to click through and peruse Aquamantra's website - it made my brain hurt.

From the opening flash movie with the messages, "Seeing is Believing", "Stimulate your Soul", "Experience the Flavor of 100% Pure Thought", "You are What you Think", "Now you are What you Drink" and "Inspiration in a Bottle", through the rest of the site reading it was like having an online lobotomy.

Apparently the marketers behind Aquamantra believe that the secret to selling water is to enhance it with "Energy".

So what is this energy? It is the "energy" infused to the water by their labels that have self-affirmation "mantras" like, "I AM HEALTHY", "I AM LOVED" and "I AM LUCKY" stamped prominently on them.

Here's a great quobesity straight from the site,

"The thoughts inherent in those words permeate the liquid, influencing the taste and beneficial properties of the water. If you are drinking ‘I am Healthy’ for example, you will resonate with the energy to be healthy. I am Loved will allow you to feel loved and I am Lucky will make you feel prosperous and LUCKY!"
Here's another,
"The water will nourish your cells delivering the carefully chosen messages of each mantra."
As unbelievably, mind-numbingly, depressingly stupid as the website and its products are, I think my favourite part is the fact that the company has apparently trademarked their mantras.

Of course there's one mantra that they haven't trademarked which might well apply if you spend money on this sad societal statement - I AM STUPID.

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2 comments:

  1. Commonsense advertising is of course an oxymoron. Advertising water to improve your luck is without question a new low in madvertising. Energy drinks, or in this case, mantra drinks, might be marketable to a very few forty watt bulbs, but for the most part, paying $2 for a bottle of sunshine won’t last.

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  2. Interestingly enought this company is spending time raising money for children's charity and attempting to bring thoughts of Love, Health and Luck to the world thru water, and seems the reason your brain hurt from reading the website, is because you must be drinking some of your own created I am Stupid water... sounds tempting, but I prefer I am Loved. Do something constructive with your time... or else you'll just end up attracting a labotomy... which in your case, might help you out.

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