Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Kids, remember to drink your Diet Coke Multivitamin!

Perhaps someday soon we'll be seeing ads like this old one for Ovaltine from Coca Cola soon.

According to Beverage Digest, the Coca Cola company plans to roll out Diet Coke Plus.

Plus what you ask?

Why plus vitamins, minerals and herbs and course.

A veritable multi-vitamin in a pop can.

Because nothing says healthy like Diet Coke.

Except perhaps Ovaltine (chocolate vitamin powder added to milk) which according to the old ad has:

  • More vitamin C than 4 ounces of orange juice
  • More vitamin B than 3 servings of oatmeal
  • More vitamin D than 10 ounces of butter
  • More protein than 3 eggs
  • More vitamin G (for those of you confused, Vitamin G is riboflavin) than 1 pound of sirloin steak
  • More iron than 3 servings of spinach
  • More niacin than 6 slices of enriched bread
  • More vitamin A than 2 servings of peas
  • More calcium and phosphorus than 2.5 servings of American cheese
  • And more food energy (calories) than 2 dishes of ice cream.

    MMMmmm food energy.

    Ovaltine by the way is still around. Now they also market directly to children with a product they call Max for Milk complete with happy cartoon boy.

    Their website states,
    "Just simply mix it with cold milk for a wholesome milkshake drink your kids can enjoy every day."
    They also state,
    "Each drink is made with the wholesome goodness of barley and malt, and contains 11 vitamins and 4 minerals – great to keep kids going! It also contains no artificial colours or sweeteners and is low in fat."
    It's a good thing for Ovaltine that no one makes ice cream with multivitamins in it because that would be direct competition.

    Everyone knows ice cream would be a great choice if there were multi-vitamins included!

    Multi-vitamins make everything healthy, chocolate milk, carbonated beverages - you name it, it'll be good.

    If you're confused here, please go back and include dripping sarcasm with the last two lines.

    Frankly as far as I'm concerned, I'm turning down Ovaltine and Diet Coke Plus in favour of my new favourite functional food - Fibe Mini! I don't know what's in it, but as you can see from the following video, drinking it will morph you into a winged, lightsaber wielding superhero able to vanquish giant life size parasites and bacteria and bring joy back to the world!