Because who wouldn't want pork Pop-Tarts?
They also make poultry Pop-Tarts, bacon and egg Pop-Tarts and, "garden vegetable" Pop-Tarts.
And while Michael Pollan's great-grandmother likely wouldn't have recognized them as "food", I'm sure she'd have loved them just the same.
To brighten your morning, here's a creepy German Tillman's Toasty television commercial.
Interesting that the commercial explicitly asks you not to call "it" schnitzel, yet that's what's written on our North American box.
But really, don't call them schnitzel.
No, I mean it, don't.
[Hat tip to my wonderful coupon cutting wife]